5 Tips on How to Survive in a Long-Distance Relationship
Being in a relationship with someone can be tricky when there’s a whole heap of kilometres between you and your partner. Things such as careers, family and travelling can also turn your regular relationship into a long-distance one, which can definitely come with its challenges. But despite the miles and time zones, you can still make these relationships work with these five tips.
Communication is one of the keys of success when you are having a long-distance relationship. No matter how far you are from someone that you love, communication will always bring you closer – not physically, but emotionally.
Yet, you can count our generation lucky! With modern technologies, like email, text, phone/video call, social media, means of communication have become easier and there should be no reason for you not to be able to communicate with your LDR’s partner.
Even when you are busy with your own activities, it can be really great to just send them a simple cute message saying that you’re currently busy, so they can understand the situation.
However, maintaining communication with your partner does not mean you need to send messages or call them 24/7. This can definitely be overbearing and make your partner feel uncomfortable. Giving each other a bit of space won’t be hurt, it’s better to just let both of you carry out your responsibilities, have a social life and continue doing things that you enjoy first. Do not just spend your long-distance relationship waiting passively.
The Concrete Step for this tip: Setting up a schedule of a zoom appointment with your partner every day at a set time. This is a great way to maintain the face to face communication between you and your partner. This might be just as you are about to sleep at night, this could be the right time to talk with your partner about what you’ve been doing all day. If the time difference is too much though you have to be creative in finding a time that works for both of you.
Love yourself first
Let’s be honest, long-distance relationships are a recipe for a disaster or at least that’s what people always thought. Of course, there is a constant fear of cheating, missing important moments, and just the pain of missing your partner.
However, for every negative of being in an LDR, there is also a positive. For instance, not getting to see your partner every day means that you have more time to focus on yourself because, without the distractions of having your partner physically present, you will be able to concentrate more fully on your career, study, and self-love.
Loving yourself certainly makes it easier to love someone else. When you can accept and love yourself, you don’t need someone else’s approval or love. When you try your hardest to love someone but you don’t fully love yourself, there can be an overall sense of feeling inadequate or unworthy, you will find it harder to make a genuine connection and build a healthy and intimate relationship. That’s why being yourself is very important because if something bad happens in your long-distance relationship, you won’t be feeling insecure or unworthy anymore.
The Concrete Step for this tip: Don’t compare yourself to others. Others aren’t better or worse, more or less than you; They’re just different. You have value just as you are and accepting yourself means there’s no need for comparisons.
Living life means growing and changing. Hopefully, as you and your relationship mature, you will become a more self-accepting version of yourself, and your relationship will grow deeper in love and happiness.
Learn to trust
Trust is essential for both parties in order for an LDR to survive. Lack of trust can lead to doubt, jealousy, and suspicion.
Before you can trust your partner, you need to ask yourself whether you can trust yourself or not. It’s the same concept of loving yourself before you can love someone else.
We know it can be difficult for people who have had a bad experience in their previous relationship due to trust issues, which means this requires a healing process to be able to trust someone again. It is also a learning process that will never stop being continuously updated and developed so that you can fully trust people, including your partner.
Just keep in mind, don’t ever directly believe in what other people say about your partner before you actually talked to your partner because sometimes they tell things that are not necessarily true and on the other point. They are not the ones who are in your relationship. So, when any issue comes up, whether it is small or large, it should be discussed and double-checked only with your partner, so you can both grow together as a couple.
Try to control yourself so that you are not easily provoked into thinking negatively and suspiciously all the time when your partner doesn’t give you any messages/phone calls even just for a short period of time, which can make you overthink yourself. Trust your partner the way you trust yourself!
The Concrete Step for this tip: Be true to your word and follow through with your actions. The point of building trust is for others to believe what you say. Keep in mind, however, that building trust requires not only keeping the promises you make but also not making promises you are unable to keep. Keeping your word shows others what you expect from them, and in turn, they’ll be more likely to treat you with respect, developing further trust in the process.
Be committed to the relationship
You need to be committed to the relationship. It is difficult to put in the effort necessary to make an LDR work without a commitment. The temptation to cheat may be too inviting to individuals who are not committed to the relationship, which is bad!
As a suggestion, you can introduce your partner to your friends, that way it seems that you want to give your partner the confidence and comfort to be able to get to know whoever is beside you when your partner is unable to do that. In essence, try to respect your partner’s existence and never be ashamed to admit that you are not single and you’ve committed to your partner.
Remember committed partners make sacrifices for each other and do not expect favours to be returned. You and your partner need to make decisions based on what’s best for the relationship, not best for themselves as individuals!
This is where you’re both 100% dedicated to making the relationship work, no matter what happens you both motivated to stay together – Even separated by distance and time zones.
The Concrete Step for this tip: Express respect and appreciation. Take time to truly listen to your partner. Don’t shy away from sharing your own emotions as well. Be gentle, use gracious words, and really try to understand your partner on a deeper level. Expressing your personal interest in them will show the depth of your commitment.
See it as an opportunity
Last but not least! When you are in a long-distance relationship, don’t think that this is going to be an initial stage of a breakup, but instead you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.
This can actually open up opportunities for you to strengthen your relationship and appreciate your time together even more. So, view it as a learning journey for the both of you. See it as a test of your love for each other.
The Concrete Step for this tip: Take a little ‘me time’ and engage in a new hobby. You can then think about how you can do this new fun activity with your partner when you see each other next. If you’ve been in an LDR for a while, don’t give up. Look at the experiences so far. There’s gotta be a reason you’re still doing it – hold on to why that is.
And If you’re in the beginning stages of an LDR, consider how much you still have to look forward to. Of course, there’ll be times you’ll be frustrated and wish to jump ahead to the part where you’re finally together. Don’t wish away the present moment, though. There will come a time when all of your hard work, your learnings, and your experiences will pay off.